Tuesday, September 04, 2018

Vacation Over

Okay, so vacation might not be the right word. I didn't go any place but after a couple of conversations with a friend, I was convinced that I needed a break from .. well .. me.

Through the years my view on people, in general, has become 'jaded'. I was always looking for the darkness, the lies. Yes, I guess cynical would be the correct word. My trust has been betrayed too many times to count. It became easier to get through days expecting the worst, anticipating the worst, and not being surprised when it arrived.

I kept as much of this as I could inside but some days it leaked out. I fear I have passed on my cynicism to my children. Somedays I was seeing it in them. That always bothered me and I tried to change my views. I think that would work, for a while but then the darkness would come back.

So, for a few weeks, I threw caution to the wind and opened myself to accepting what I saw, heard and/or read at face value. Accepting what I was told as the truth, no matter what. I did learn the meaning of seeing things through 'rose-colored glasses'.

I was open to new forms of making friends, meeting people in different ways. I even accepted 'friend' requests over a chat platform or two. I made myself believe what I was told, accept it at face value.

It was fun for a while, but my mind started peaking around the glasses. "Hey, wait a sec, they said this the other day" thoughts. I tried to brush it off, blamed it on a faulty memory. Well, I was told for years that I had a bad memory. That what I was sure I remembered was wrong. I let things continue but then there came a point when I couldn't ignore my instincts.

I did some research and re-read logs, that I always keep. My instincts were right. LOL people who lie need to keep notes so they can keep their stories straight. In just a week their place of birth changed from one country to another. Height was a zigzag. I could go on but needless to say, truth and honesty don't seem to exist.

It was an interesting 'vacation' that I am glad I took but, very happy to be back from :)

I learned that my cynicism and skepticism are useful parts of who I am. Also, that maybe I should tone it down because I did meet a few new friends. So I will try to remain more open and tolerant. To look at things with an open mind and stop always searching for the lies.

Maybe my world got a little brighter, or at least bigger :)

Have a good day. Smile at a stranger. Try for happy instead of just alive.

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