Tuesday, August 07, 2018

Trust

How do you learn to trust again?  I am not talking about everyone but someone you used to deeply trusted. Once that trust is betrayed is there any way to trust again?

I always try to be a truthful person and I expect the same in return. I know there are times when not everything can be disclosed for one reason or another. The question "what did you get me for Christmas?" will never get a straight answer. Unless it is just "a present". At times, work related questions cannot be totally answered honestly.

I was lied to, repeatedly, by someone I formerly had complete faith in. There was no reason for the lies except to not tell the truth.

Now I am expected to continue the relationship as if nothing had happened. As if the breach of trust had never occurred.

Sitting across a table, having a meal and trying to carry on an everyday conversation was the most difficult experience I have had in recent memory. I found myself wondering if anything I was hearing was the truth or a fabrication. I didn't know how to answer the most simple questions as I wondered if what I was saying was going to be used against me.

I really want to trust again, not trusting is exhausting. I am not sure who can believe. If what I am being told, is the truth. I still have some people I trust but the wound from this betrayal has scared my soul.

So, back to the original question, how can I trust this person again? Or, should I just walk away and just keep the memories of the past as my only connection?

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